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March 30, 2003

Carbonboy's a bit overwhelmed at the moment, with a move to the mountains and a really crazy work schedule.  Next update on or before April 6.

March 17, 2003

Krusty Kudlow & Crazy Cramer

Whilst most of his younger (and ironically well educated) friends tune in to the latest reality series on the tube, Carbonboy reserves the eight o'clock slot for this demented duo. 

Krusty claims to be a baby boomer and to have worked for Nixon (making one of those claims questionable).  He still wears white-collared shirts with dotted yellow power ties.  I'd bet he picked up his pinstripes from a Gordon Gecko wardrobe auction.

Crazy Jim, I swear, will have a stroke on camera one day.  He definitely carries the show with Krusty as a commendable sidekick.  He also has a dubious past as a hedge fund manager and some past alleged "pump & dump" schemes.  But now these crusaders for the "investment class" relentlessly seek out and expose corporate crumbs.

Ah but I love them both.  Together they make their top-rated competitor, O'Reilly look like a grumpy old man (another guy claiming boomer status that seems older than dirt).

Continuing soon -- perhaps after the war -- i.e. in a few days or so.  Well maybe not a few days . . .

March 9, 2003

A Day at the Yale Bookstore

My truck and I had such a miserable experience driving the Connecticut roadways after a light snow late last week (as the cities and state did not bother cleaning up properly), that we decided it would safer just to say put this weekend.  We both needed a break from the New Jersey Turnpike as conditions seemed right for some big band of fog to shut it down.

However it turns out that it was "warm and sunny" up and down the eastern seaboard on Saturday.  It would have been a perfect first-kayak-day at home on the Potomac in Piney Point.

I was not going to let that thought ruin my weekend, so I planned a trip to the Yale Bookstore.  I needed a book only they would have.  It would be fun to explore the historic campus a bit as well, although I did forget my camera.  Normally it upsets me when I forget to bring my trusty Dimage 7  anywhere, but it wasn't that  warm, not by my standards anyway.

My first impression of Yale:  I found it amusing that all those lucky students and faculty had to endure some of the worst potholes that I ever encountered.  I'm surprised that the brilliant engineering department at Yale had not, long ago, come up with some remarkable bio-polymeric aggregate suitable to forever solve Yale's pothole problem.  I guess they have more important stuff to do.

All those old stone buildings were pretty darn impressive.  The structural stone seems to be doing just fine, given its age, but many of the window frames, doors and just about anything non-stone had the look of a soon-to-be abandoned military base. 

I wondered if the interiors of these remarkable buildings were kept up a little better.  In fairness, I bet they spruce things up after Spring arrives.

I found the bookstore OK and even found a free parking place near the bookstore although about 1/3 of the space was a big melting mound of dirty snow.  No wonder it was available.   Even though my rear tires were propped-up at an oddly skewed 18 inches, it was a downward roll to get me out, so I was not concerned about being stuck yet again.

It turns out, to my dismay, that the Yale Bookstore did not have my book in stock but could order it for $117 + tax with a wait of 7-10 days.  And even though it is called the Yale Bookstore, it is really a Barnes & Noble.  Well, plan "B" was to order my book from amazon.com for $107 and pay no taxes and have it in 3 days. 

No matter -- it was worth the trip as I like bookstores and even though I was disappointed that this turned out to be a Barnes & Noble, it was not just any Barnes & Noble.  In addition to the usual folks lounging and reading comfortably in overstuffed chairs, I captured bits and pieces of actual intellectual discussion.  And most of these folks looked pretty darn intellectual with some notable exceptions.

The petite young woman that manned the information desk (student no doubt) had the perfect ultra-hip Che Guevara look.  This was not some old rag-tag '60's look -- it was a fully-accessorized retro-look with subtle multi-shades of camouflage-hued make-up.  

  At first, I was intimidated to even approach her, fearing that the book I needed would not be up to her standards, even though it cost $117 + tax.   When I regained my composure and spoke to her, she proved to be quite pleasant and helpful. 

She was probably from an affluent family in Ohio and her "look" was just a facade necessary to fit in here at Yale.  It must have cost a small fortune to achieve that perfect look just to work at a book store.  Ah, I reminded myself, but this was not just any bookstore. 

And there was this somewhat dopey-looking guy that walked into the bookstore with a huge dog.  My first thought was that it was a seeing-eye dog, but the guy and his dog immediately went to the new fiction section and began browsing away.  Neither staff or customers seemed the least bit upset that this big dog was blocking half the isle, although I must admit that Fido was well behaved and probably was a Yale Bookstore regular.

Ok, well-over my initial disappointment, I headed over to the food section of the bookstore (it was a mix between a Starbuck's and a 7/11) and got myself a large latté.  Let the browsing begin.  I always start at the new nonfiction section and this was a big one:  A few obscure biographies, numerous pundit ramblings on war and politics -- both left and right, a couple of diet books, self-help and business books -- but nothing that caught my eye.  Oh well, I had only budgeted $117 + tax on this spending spree anyway.

I wandered about both floors for about an hour and found nothing of interest.  How could this be -- I was in the Yale Bookstore after all.  Well the bookstore was also a massive Yale souvenir store and sort of a small office supply store for the students.  They also sold a wide variety of alarm clocks and even toaster ovens!  One had to pass through that area to get to the separate "textbook" area where the notoriously expensive student books are located.  Product positioning was exquisite, the manager no doubt being a Yale Grad. 

After passing through that mini-department store section, I wandered into an adjacent section on French Literature.  It was massive.  I had no idea that there were so many French authors, even if they spanned a few centuries.  I had gotten through life just fine never reading any French Literature and I wasn't about to start now -- so no browsing required.

I did need one thing -- a good map of Manhattan -- something small enough to carry around while walking the streets during my planned spring visits with my trusty Dimage 7.   

I found a near perfect little street atlas called Manhattan Block By Block by a guy named John Tauranac.  It turns out John is a New Yorker that writes about New York history and architecture.  He's also a professor.  No wonder this is such a good map!

But John, why did you have the map printed in China, and why, if someone wants to buy it, do they have to order it from Santa Barbara, CA? To me that makes about as much sense as buying salsa made in New York City!

Well, it's a good find for me anyway and I am including a small section of it here even though I do not currently have written permission to do so.  I think a "reviewer" can do that, especially if it's a good review.  I hope they don't sue.

What's cool about this map is it even lists apartment buildings (in case you actually know someone that can afford to live in Manhattan) and all those little sections of New York like Hell's Kitchen;  areas that we all heard about in literature or movies, but were clueless as to their actual location.

The 2nd Edition is so new it even shows the World Trade Center as a site "In Memoriam" -- a respectable approach given so many older maps still have the WTC photos on their covers.

My one real complaint is that John was afraid to break from convention and not put a small margin between pages.  I almost had to break the binder to view some details.  I guess my pocket atlas will be well broken in by the time I actually get to Manhattan.  I hope the Chinese used a quality glue on the binder.

Anyway, if you are planning a serious trip to New York, buy this $14.95 atlas:  ISBN 1-8788892-13-4 available at www.maplink.com.

Well, I did not want to go home completely empty-handed in spite of my new cool map.  I needed some reading material for the weekend, so I scanned the budget book section -- all that stuff that is a heartbeat away from being recycled.  I didn't much need a Complete Reference to Windows 95 but I did find two books that did catch my obscure attention and were priced right.  

At $3.95, the book titled Five Equations That Changed the World seemed a bargain, even though it was written by a guy that was the Science Editor of Good Morning America.  I mean, Popular Science is my 2nd Fav magazine, so I would not be stooping any lower by reading this guy for the same price of a magazine.

So here's Carbonboy's first pop quiz:  Who developed each these five equations and what do they represent?

Two hints:  all these guys are dead and there are four laws and one theory (I know, those are pretty cheesy hints but you have the entire internet to find the answers) .  Also there's no typo in the E = equation.  I'll start reading this book before bed tonight and let you know if it was worth the $3.95.

The other book was a real find:  a shrink-wrapped copy of Landmarks in Mechanical Engineering.  Before anyone goes accusing Carbonboy of being a bigger nerd than Dilbert, I do read some fun and frivolous stuff from time to time.  I'm just bargain shopping here, and for $6.95 picking up a book that retailed for $30.

Besides, I feel history is far too skewed to politics and war.  If it wasn't for past engineers and scientists, we'd be attacking Saddam with sticks and rocks.  Of course we'd probably have no need to attack at all, as his weapons-of-mass-destruction would be about as useless as ours. 

Time to wrap up my day.  Bargain books and cool map bagged and in-hand, I headed back to my truck.  After all that browsing I was hungry.  I stopped at the first suitable spot which happened to be a place called the Educated Burger.  It didn't look too intimidating and who knows, Edward Tuft might just be in there informally lecturing.  No such luck, but the burger and frys were good  -- something you'd expect at a place with about a 95% student cliental.  

While I was contently munching down my food I wondered if the guy and his big dog were welcomed here.  Did Dubya maybe hang out here during his party days?  How may now-famous people ate in this very spot?

I thought it must be wonderful to be a student here, even if they have to deal with destructive potholes, miserable winters and a somewhat crumbling campus infrastructure.  I'll visit again after all this crappy snow is gone and be sure to bring my camera.

March 5, 2003

Carbonboy's Circa 1960 State Redistricting Plan - 13 X 3

 

When I was a small kid, I had an early fascination with maps. That fascination lingers on even today, as whenever I move into a new state, I invest in a good state map and metro or county map, if available, and I always end up buying one of those topographical maps as well.  It's maybe an obsession, but I can think of worse things to obsess over.

When it was time in school to learn all the state capitals, I was not content to merely memorize the capital-to-state associations -- I wanted to know exactly were each capital was located.  So I closely studied a big colored map of the good old USA.

About that time we were also getting an early introduction into our democracy, learning, I remember, that each state got two senators.  I recall being a little upset with that newly-learned fact and my emerging aesthetic sense told me that some of the states were shaped and sized wrong for the world's greatest democracy.  So I decided to fix things.

The founding fathers may have had it right back when there were only thirteen colonies, but I found it grossly undemocratic that all those tiny New England states had two senators  -- how could that be possibly fair?  After a careful study, I decided the best thing to do was to create 39 states -- a multiple of 3 of the original 13.

New Englanders, I'm sure would have considered a 2nd Boston Tea Party and declared independence, but I'm sorry -- everything east of New York becomes ONE STATE:  New England.  That whole lot, just like Californians , are out of step with the rest of the country anyway, so justice be done.  Just to make you folks feel better, I'll throw in Long Island.  New York can make that sacrifice.  Yeah sure, it may take a few hundred years to get over it but you will:  one state and one football team!  And what a powerhouse state you would be!

Next - Maryland, Delaware and New Jersey -- you three are also too puny to warrant two senators each, so you will form the new state of Chesapeake.  To appease you, I'll give you Staten Island and give the poor folks of Washington DC representation by annexing everything not fed-owned in that city as yours.  Another small but powerhouse state!

Virginia, it's time to make up with your poor cousin West Virginia.  Make peace and we'll give you that Maryland western panhandle in exchange for the wrongly annexed eastern shore down to Cape Charles which rightly goes back to the new state of Chesapeake.  Yes, I know this is about as painful as the reunification of Germany, but it is for the good of a fair democracy.

Time to forever negate the divide between north and south:  Sweet Carolina, you are one, and you too Dakota.  Just think of the needless duplication you can eliminate.

Georgia, you peach, your borders seemed fine just as they are.

Florida, well, those folks living in your panhandle don't identify with those in Miami - so anything west of the Apalachicola River goes to Alabama.  Not to worry -- you can still keep Tallahassee.

And I firmly believed that the State of Mississippi deserves to have Old Man River running its entire border -- Louisiana  looses part of its shoe -- but I'll spare New Orleans.  To ease your pain we'll merge you with Arkansas -- now a super state with both mountains and coastline.  You can vote on a new name.

The two most controversial changes, in my small mind, were zapping off the panhandle of Texas and reuniting Upper Michigan with Wisconsin.  In my humble view at the time, Texas and Wisconsin were the two most perfectly shaped states -- Texas having a grandeur about it and Wisconsin just being cute.  But sacrifices were needed everywhere, without my young basis, so Okalahoma and Wisconsin gain some new ground.

I guess I got tired about then, as the west perhaps needed a bit more work.  Should I split California down the middle?  No -- I like 3 X 13 = 39 States in respect to the founding fathers.  I figured I put the country in enough turmoil for the moment and best make these changes first.  Enhancements and refinements could come later.

Of course, I now understand that my optimistic boyhood idealism to improve democracy would never have a remote chance of  success.  Change for the better never comes easy. And there would be countless arguments against my plan even being better.

Boy, life was simple as a kid.  I still think this world is getting better -- 2 steps forward and one step back.  I'm hoping for a little step forward for a time, but I don't get that sense today. 

 

Wish I was 9 again.

 

 

Coming soon: Alfred Ferdinand Smith.

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